Want to take a sneak peek at some of the chapters in my book? Just click the tabs on the left and you’ll see excerpts from each chapter so you can get a sense of the content and style. I like to bootleg a lot of facts and insights into funny narratives. My goal is to teach you something while making you laugh. And if I fail, well, that’s what the 30 day money back guarantee is for!
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How To Cum More
Hey, wait a second, what’s that smell? Check the soles of your shoes, everybody. I think we just stepped on another pile of supplement claims. They’re all over the interwebs promising you grenade-like orgasms if you just take this expensive supplement and combine it with that even more expensive pill or potion.
Talk to any legitimate urologist (like the ones in my panel) and they’ll tell you these claims are all lies designed to separate you from your wallet. Because the FDA does not regulate supplements, manufacturers and marketers can say anything they want about their products without any regard to the truth.
There are so many websites and bloggers hawking herbs, creams, lotions, and pills promising to make your penis spray semen out like an Uzi that I just have to devote a short chapter on this so you can avoid getting ripped off.
The Rip-Off Artists Always Start By Promising To Make Your Dick Bigger. They know men have a “bigger is better” mentality. I mean, it must be true that the bigger the penis the further it’ll shoot, right? Wrong. Generally speaking, the larger the penis, the lower the velocity of ejaculation. Watch some of the videos of the tripod porn stars like John Holmes—their pop shots are usually no more than a dribble.
This makes sense as far as physics goes. A larger penis will have a wider canal that produces less pressure. Think about it, most of the porn stars that can really shoot are average-sized or slightly larger than average.
I bring this up because the first thing scammers are going to do is convince you to enlarge your penis so that you can shoot further. Let’s take a look at two of the most famous “get bigger” swindles:
The Jelquing Technique.
“Jelquing,” is an ancient “penis lengthening” action, where you stroke your half-hard penis for hours on end. Right. The only thing that’s going to lengthen is your smile. It is a totally discredited method of lengthening your penis or creating an environment for forceful ejaculations. The only reason Jelquing persists is that it started out in ancient civilizations as a way of introducing boys to the eventual joys of sex with women. Stay away from this—you’ll just end up rubbing your dick raw and for all the wrong reasons.
Enzyte, Extenze Or Other Penis Enlargement Bullshit.
People, people! There is no way to “MAKE YOUR DICK BIGGER THAN A CLUB!!!” There’s no pill, no pump, no enzyme that’s going to give you “THE MIRACLE OF A 14-INCH HORSE COCK!!!! There’s no surgery that’s going to give you “MEATY 10-INCH SCHLONGS!!!!
Yes, I know you’d like to “ADD FOUR TERRIFYING INCHES TO YOUR WANG!!!! But I’m afraid the only way you can do that is to put your dick on my desk so I can whack it with a hammer. You won’t believe how big it’ll get.
I know you can’t open an email or see a TV commercial without being inundated with offers to make your dick as big as a rhino. A lot of you (with any luck you’re one of them) wonder what kind of shmuck would click on these links and order penis enlargement pills or herbs? It’s so obviously a fraud you’d figure the spam would decrease over time as the “male enhancement” industry realized that nobody was stupid enough to actually order their crap.
Unfortunately, you can never go broke over-estimating male stupidity. According to Wired News, a security flaw at a website selling penis enlargement pills revealed just how many people were buying their dong dung.
An order log at one of these websites was left exposed and showed that over a month’s time 6,000 people responded to their spam and on average, ordered two bottles of pills at $50 a pop.
If men were any more stupid they’d have to be watered twice a week. You’d think only the uneducated would believe that you can take a pill or an herb and go from bi-ped to tripod, but you’d be wrong. Get a load of some of the people revealed as customers by the exposed weblog:
How To Ejaculate More: Stop Taking Volume Pills
Pelvic floor muscles force semen up and out of your penis by synchronized contractions. The more forceful the contractions the harder you’ll shoot. So guess what? You need to train those muscles to stomp on your reproductive tract like a narc at a biker rally.
If you really want to cum farther, you have to master the domain between your legs. Strictly speaking, your penis isn’t a muscle, so you can’t exercise it. You can take it for a swim in the tunnel of love or make it do push-ups and pull-ups with your hands but it’s not the same thing. It’s the muscles around your penis that need exercising. Namely, the pubococcygeal –“PC”–muscles, which are located in the lower pelvis and form a horizontal sling between your legs.
This sling is filled with muscles crucial to putting the flex back in sex. Experts agree that regularly exercising your PC muscles (also called Kegels) can increase the strength of your erection, give you more control of your ejaculations and deliver more powerful orgasms.
What are pelvic floor muscles and why are they so important to cumming like a porn star? Let’s do an experiment. Grab a full tube of toothpaste with the cap off. Give it a lame squeeze and see what happens. Dribble, dribble, right? Now take the same tube of toothpaste and with both hands sharply squeeze it as hard and as fast as you can.
Bam! Porn star toothpaste!
Think of the tube of toothpaste as your dick and your hands as the pelvic floor muscles (urologists call them “PC muscles”—short for pubococygeous, the muscles you use to stop and re-start the flow of urine). The lighter you squeeze the toothpaste the weaker the toothpaste will come out. The harder and sharper you squeeze it the more forcefully it will come out. It’s the same with your penis—only it’s your PC muscles doing the squeezing.
Guys who can shoot their load like a hammer-burst have far stronger pelvic floor or PC muscle contractions then you do. It is a gift they were born with. You know how some guys can crush your hand during a handshake like it was a vise even though they don’t work out? They are simply born with strong muscles. It’s the same with PC muscles. Some lucky guys don’t have to work them out and yet they’re strong enough to cause their jizz to arc across the room. The rest of us have to go to the pelvic floor gym to make that happen. It’s possible to build up those muscles to squeeze “the tube” so hard and so fast they’ll catapult the toothpaste right past the toothbrush onto the bathroom mirror.
So how do you train the PC muscles?
How To Increase Semen or Ejaculate
The more you’re turned on the further you’ll shoot. Here are some physical and psychological techniques to redline the desire meter.
Every dribbler has had the experience of shooting 6 inches to 3 feet further then normal. Why then? Why not now? Why not always? You came like a porn star then in part because you were so incredibly turned on that your sexual plumbing went into overdrive and produced a master shot-put of the white stuff.
The question becomes how can you re-create that kind of revved up desire. Easy. Have a three-way with the cover girls from the next Victoria’s Secret catalog. If that doesn’t get your geyser gushing nothing will.
Unfortunately, most of us are not going to be bedding a lot of goddesses in the near future. Fortunately, you don’t need a goddess to create a turbo turn-on in your mind. You just have to know how to make yourself so sexually excited that it comes out of you like a broken water main.
Dialing up the turn-on to Defcon 1 can be physical (like when she licks your balls) or psychological (how much passion gets generated in a session with her). Here’s a funny but accurate example of how physically dialing up the turn-on results in more forceful orgasms: Jerk off while standing over a space heater (you know, those little room warmers that sit on the floor). The heat will stimulate your penis and testicles. It will be absorbed into the body heating up everything from the muscles to the semen itself. All that warmth will amplify the sensations and you’ll have an awesome orgasm (if you don’t electrocute yourself, first!).
That’s a great example of how something so simple can increase libidinal sensations, but obviously you’re not going to bring a space heater along with your toothbrush and condoms to your lady friend’s house. You need a better way to dramatically increase how turned on you get and I’m about to show you. It’s all about approaching sex in a way that spirals up the erotic energy.
How To Put More Passion Into Your Sex Life So Your Orgasms Pole Vault Across The Room.
Think back at the most memorable sex you’ve ever had. What do you remember most–that thing she did with her tongue or the feeling of getting sucked into a vortex of sexual energy that made you temporarily forget your name?
Being good in bed isn’t about what you can do to her; it’s about where you can take her. It’s not that technique isn’t important, but technique without passion just makes you a skilled worker.
Passion is a funny thing. You can’t teach it because it’s not a skill. You can’t acquire it because it’s not a possession. And you can’t learn it because there are no instructions. Like the wind, you can’t see it but you can feel it.
If passion has one defining characteristic, it’s …
How To Cum Further
More volume means more pressure, which means more launch force. Try these proven tactics for increasing your semen volume.
To cum further you have to exert more pressure in your reproductive system. Exercising your PC muscles to make your muscles contract harder (and consequently push out the semen more forcefully) is going to be a big help. But those muscles will do their job a lot better if you give them more to work with.
The physics of pressure is at work here– the more weight or mass exerted on the system, the more pressure it creates. The more compression in a small system (like your urethra), the more explosive the release will be.
Obviously, the more semen you have the more pressure it puts on your reproductive system to release it forcefully. So how do you get more semen in your system? Three ways.
1. Drink More Water.
The amount of what comes out of your body is directly associated with the amount that comes in. Want to shit more? Eat more. Want to pee more? Drink more. Want to cum more? Same thing. And by drink, I mean water, not beer!
Ninety five percent of your ejaculate is liquid. Sperm only makes up about 5% of it. If you don’t drink enough water you are robbing your ejaculate of more volume. It’s that simple. You should be drinking at least eight 8-ounce glasses of water a day. A good rule of thumb is to look at the color of your urine. The darker it is the more water you need to drink. A well-hydrated person’s urine should be clear, NOT yellow.
This tactic may put a crimp on your martini-swilling ways. If olives come out of your dick when you pee, you’re never going to ejaculate like a porn star. Alcohol dehydrates the body. It doesn’t mean you can’t drink; it just means that you have to drink even more water to compensate for the alcohol. The same thing goes for heavy coffee drinkers.
Remember that semen is water-based. The more you drink the more that will land on her face and body when you’re three feet away. If that doesn’t make you thirsty I don’t know what will.
2. Don’t Jerk Off So Much.
The less you beat off or have sex the more ejaculate that builds up in your system. The good news is that you don’t have to remain abstinent for very long. It only takes the body one or two days to completely replenish its store of ejaculate. If you wait much longer than that it simply gets absorbed by your system. It’s not like you have a storage tank that you can fill for weeks on end.
To give you a sense of how fast your system works to reproduce ejaculate, know that your body produces sperm at an astonishing rate of more than 1500 every second. That works out to almost 200,000,000 sperm cells a day. Because you produce so much sperm on a daily basis your body also quickly produces the semen for the sperm to swim in.
The best way to build up semen is to keep your hands to yourself for 48 hours before you have sex with your woman. A short period of abstinence will ensure you have a bigger load to spray.
3. Trick Your Body into Producing More Semen.
Every time you get close to an orgasm your prostate and seminal vesicles start producing more semen to carry the sperm out. What happens if you stop yourself right before the point of ejaculatory inevitability? The ejaculate recedes from the urethra. While there are no real “storage tanks” to speak of in your reproductive system there is room for some storage and build-up. By masturbating and then refraining from orgasm you essentially “prime the pump,” producing more semen. The process of bringing yourself close to an orgasm but backing away at the last minute is called…
How To Cum Farther
The more blood that rushes to your penis the further you’ll cum. This chapter will show you some neat tricks that will get your dick harder than a frozen turkey.
In healthy men, desire and blood flow go hand in hand. Well, there are times when the blood doesn’t follow the desire. Often it’s a lifestyle choice that’s getting in the way. Smoking, for example. It narrows the blood vessels so that eventually your erections don’t get as hard. The single best way for a smoker to get harder hard-ons is to STOP SMOKING.
The same thing goes for heavy drinkers. Alcohol mugs libidos. It sneaks up behind you, knocks you to the ground and steals your valuables. It relieves you of your libido and absconds with your performance. Alcohol metabolizes in the liver, which is also responsible for metabolizing testosterone, a crucial sex hormone. Too much liquor and your liver may start converting your testosterone to estrogen, contributing to a loss of sex drive. Alcohol also dulls the nerves that transmit sensations and decreases the body’s ability to pump blood around the genitals, which is critical to sexual functioning.
True, alcohol has wonderful thigh-splitting properties for the woman you’re hawking on. But like any tool you put in your hand, you have to know how to use it. For the average 150 lbs. man, 3 1/2 drinks is the limit. After that, the only thing that’ll be standing upright in your house is the vacuum cleaner.
It isn’t just drunks that need to worry about alcohol’s ability to put the nix on dicks, it’s also guys who want to shoot further. Maximum blood flow to the penis is critical for you to shoot far. You don’t have to stop drinking altogether but you probably shouldn’t have more than two drinks if you want peter to paint the porpoise with a big splash on the canvas. In moderate amounts alcohol actually causes blood vessel dilation, which is why people feel warmer when they’re drinking.
What If You Don’t Drink Or Don’t Smoke?
Then get a life! Seriously, what if you don’t do either and still want to improve blood flow? A regular exercise regimen promotes blood flow so get thee to a gym, a court or a track.
And speaking of the gym, I have some great advice to get your woman more turned on—make sure she works out with you. Neuroscientists at the University California at Berkeley recently made a breakthrough discovery: Sniffing a compound of male sweat called androstadienone causes hormonal, physiological and psychological changes in women that result in sexual arousal.
Sweat has been the main focus of research on human pheromones. For example, we’ve known for years that male underarm sweat improves women’s moods and affects their secretion of luteinizing hormone, which helps stimulate ovulation. Androstadienone is a derivative of testosterone that is found in all body secretions but it is in especially high concentrations in male sweat.
In the most recent trials, women were asked to take 20 sniffs from a bottle containing androstadienone. Don’t worry, they didn’t gag. It smelled vaguely of musk. When compared to sniffing a control odor (yeast), the women who sniffed androstadienone reported significantly higher sexual arousal. Researchers also noted an increased physiological response, including blood pressure, heart rate and breathing. These results were consistent with previous studies but they also discovered a tantalizing new development–androstadienone has the power to elevate hormone levels. In this case cortisol, which is associated with alertness and stress. In fact, it remained elevated for a full hour after the sniff test.
So what does all this mean for you? The treatment applications for this discovery are unclear, but clearly, it will not hurt for you to work out with your partner and be conscious of having her sniff your armpits (I suggest you do it when nobody’s watching). Don’t let her sniff when the smell is so bad it could peel the skin off a battleship. Do it when it smells good. Sweat is naturally odorless. It only begins to smell when bacteria that live on the skin digest sweat and excrete waste. That’s why sweat smells clean in the beginning and slowly turns into mustard gas.
By the way, you don’t have to sweat enough to water a lawn; even a dab will do. Be sure she sniffs your armpits when you’re making out, having foreplay or making love. The research is solid and beyond question: Androstadienone changes mood, and increases both sexual arousal (blood flow, lubrication) and physiological arousal (blood pressure, heartbeat). This doesn’t mean taking a few sniff of your pits will make her ankles float to the ceiling. They won’t make her yell, “Take me like a vitamin!!” The effects are far more subtle. What it does mean is that you have one more proven way to arouse her and that in itself will improve your blood flow!
How To Increase Semen
In baseball, how you hold the ball influences the speed at which it releases. It’s the same thing with cum shots. Here are a few techniques that will get you over the home plate.
The way you hold a ball has a lot to do with how fast it’ll leave your hand. Same thing with cumming. Most guys think if they just pump their dick faster their cum will go further. That’s true to a certain extent but like a ball or a Frisbee, throwing it hard without a good technique can only get you so far. There are several simple hand techniques that will help you shoot further. Let’s investigate:
Hand Technique #1: Squeeze The Base.
The first is to squeeze the base of your cock as you’re stroking it to the point of coming. By squeezing it you make it harder for semen to pass through the base, creating more pressure for it to jump out when it’s finally released.
Another technique requires a bit of explanation about the prostate, which many people call, “The male G-Spot.” The prostate is a walnut-sized gland located between the bladder and the penis (just in front of the rectum). It produces fluid that nourishes and protects sperm. During orgasm it squeezes this fluid into the urethra where it mixes with sperm and comes out as that whitish semen many women think of as the nectar of the Gods. In fact, the prostate produces almost all of your semen.
Obviously, the prostate is crucial to your experience of orgasm. You know that moment of “ejaculatory inevitability” when you’re about to come and you feel it deep inside you before anything comes out? That’s because orgasm starts with the contractions of the internal sex organs (vas deferens, seminal vesicles and the prostate). Therefore, stimulating the prostate in just the right way can create enormous sexual excitement. In some men, simply stroking the prostate can make them spontaneously orgasm. But the truth is, prostate stimulation is not a universal pleasure so don’t worry if it doesn’t do much for you.
The prostate is located behind the anal wall in the direction of your belly button (two to four inches from the sphincter). I’m telling you this because the next hand technique is about massaging the prostate from the outside of your body as you jerk off.
But before you find it outside of your body, it would help to find it inside. It’s a little like playing hide-and-seek, only you’re using your finger rather than your eyes. Here’s how you do it:
“How Can I Cum More?”
Small behaviors like wearing tight underwear can influence how far you shoot. A short list of what to avoid so that you can void further.
Peter North, the porn star famous for Supersoaking his co-stars from across the room, was once asked how he was able to shoot so far. He replied, “I treat my body like a temple.” He’s right that certain lifestyle behaviors are detrimental to creating more semen volume and explosive ejaculations. Here’s the short list:
Smoking Is The Gateway To Dribbling.
It constricts blood vessels putting a serious crimp on your erections. Reduced blood flow means softer hard-ons which means dribbly ejaculations. Smokers are also more likely to suffer impotence related problems. Lose the cigarettes. Your girl has better things to put in your mouth.
How to Cum like a Porn Star
An easy-to-follow, step-by-step guide of all the insights and tactics in this book.
Now that you know all that goes into cumming like a porn star, how do you put all the pieces together so they’re easier to follow? Read on. Consider this chapter a pocket guide for the rocket in your pocket.
A Pressure Chamber Works Better When There’s More Substance In The Chamber To Pressure.
Make more semen. You can do this by: