Congratulations! If you made it through this series you’re locked, cocked and ready to rock.
You’ve gotten enough ammo to shoot your bad texting habits out of the sky and enough info to mack on a hottie successfully.
Rather than repeating important points I’ve made throughout, I’d like to emphasize a couple of critical themes that will help you become an expert texter.
How To Flirt With A Girl Through Text
First is the concept of asymmetrical desire. You will rarely meet a woman who’s on the same page as you are. You either like her more than she likes you or she likes you more than you like her. Your job is to sense the asymmetry and text accordingly. For example, if you sense she’s not that into you, then back the fuck up before you get noped the fuck out.
The goal of a good texter isn’t to manipulate the girl into doing your bidding (or bedding). It’s to “symmetrize” the desire so that something real can happen, whether it’s a hookup, a date or a relationship. That means understanding where her feelings are in relation to yours.
Sometimes you have to play it cool and sometimes you need to heat things up. Not so you can play games but to bring the level of desire to parity. The easiest way to assess the asymmetry is to ask yourself two questions:
On a scale of 1 to 10, how badly do I want this girl?
On a scale of 1 to 10, how badly does she want me?
It is the answer to these questions that should determine the content and timing of your texts. If there’s a lot of space between your numbers (You’re a 10 for her but she’s a 5 for you) you have a lot of asymmetry going on. The more asymmetry the more indirect you have to be.
The more the symmetry the more direct you can be. You should be asking yourself these two questions throughout the early part of your relationship as one or both answers are likely to change as you get to know each other.
The next concept that will help you be the expert texter you’re destined to be is simple: Don’t be you. Be the best you. McCann Erickson, the giant ad firm, once described advertising as “The Truth Well Told.” Adopt this philosophy. Be “You Well Told.” That means letting your personality shine through.
Here’s a great way to tell if your texts are reflecting your personality: Read them and ask yourself:
“Could anybody else have sent this text?”
The answer is usually yes if you’re sending generic texts like “How’s your day?” Anybody can send drivel like that. Dig deeper. You’re better than that. Prove it to her.
Click here for a comprehensive look at: What To Say To A Girl You Like
Third, understand that almost every guy suffers from Hot Chick Phobia. Beautiful women tend to make men incapable of thought, so we back up, get less creative and play it safe.
Ever notice that the more you like a girl the harder it is to come up with something clever or intelligent to say? Know that this is a factor and make up for it by dipping into my bag of clever, pre-written texts to make her smile, using them to start conversations or reanimate them when they’ve gone stale. They’re just training wheels she’ll never see. All you need is a few good starter texts and you’re off to the races.
Fourth and finally, check your work. Regularly scroll up and get a bird’s eye view of your texts. If you did that more often you’d see where you might be going wrong. Are your text flirting examples consistently two or three word “grunts?”
That means you’re not showing enough interest or personality. That’s fine if you’re not that into her, but if you are, then you’re accidentally sending her “go away” signals. So broaden your texts.
Are your cute texts to send a girl more like scholarly articles? Shorten them. Check the timing against hers. Are you immediately texting her back when it takes her hours to respond? That means you’re so far up her ass she thinks you’re a hemorrhoid. Back up.
The point of self-assessment is to self-correct. Be aware of what you’re doing or it’ll be your undoing.
In the final post of this series, we’ll give you examples you can use and take the credit for. In the meantime, read what GQ says helps if you text her something stupid.
If you missed the last post, read it here.