The road to Pound Town is full of false starts, curvy roads, and dead-ends. Even if she’s the type who’d give it up for a box of fruit rollups, you still have to jump through a few hoops, the first and most important one being safety.
Read those rape stats I wrote earlier to refresh your memory about why women have so many safety concerns.
I don’t care if she’s as chaste as a nun or if she’s been ridden more times than the town bicycle, if you don’t handle the “Is He A Psycho” concern right away you will spend an eternity in the masturbatorium.
Flirty Text Messages For Her That Actually Work
Now, before we get into this, I want to state the obvious: You won’t need subtlety with a lot of girls you meet.
Take my friend Susie. Three guys busted into her apartment and she was charged with sexual assault. Every text she sends sounds like a Category 5 blowjob. You don’t need subtlety and hot text messages to turn her on with the Susies of the world; you need more pictures of your junk.
That said, the majority of women you’re going to meet will need a little finessing. That’s why the successful guy will be indirect. At least, at first.
So, what to text a girl to make her want you? Ease into a sexual text thread like you would ease into sex itself. Even the dirtiest, headboard-breaking romp in the sack starts with a sly look or comment. So avoid an opener like this:
You: Hey. I wanna get in that.
You: Like dick?
Ease into it! Your texts have to do double duty: They have to be sexual but they also have to show you’re a cool guy that she has nothing to worry about (except for a small limp in the morning). Hot text messages to turn her on are for later. For now, the best way of doing that is to learn the art of …
The Double Entendre.
“A woman walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre and he gives it to her.”
Double entendres are texts with a sexual subtext. They have a “surface” meaning that is completely innocent and a just-below-the-surface coded meaning that heats up the real intent of the message. It’s something that sounds dirty but isn’t. Or maybe it is. That’s the point.
Double entendres give you the ability to slip in under the radar and go for the verbal grope. In French, double means, duh, “double.” Entendres means “to hear” but also “to understand.” As in, I hear you. Wink, wink.
The first rule to double entendres is NO PICKUP LINES.
You: If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
If she wanted cheese she’d open up the fridge and reach for the cheddar. Unless you’re intentionally trying to be funny, this is a no-no. A better way is to make something she said sound dirty, then take advantage of the moment.
Say you’re talking about hobbies and scuba diving comes up.
Her: I’ve never been before but heard the descent can be scary. You like going down?
You: Are we still talking about scuba diving? LOL.
You: Either way, “yes.” 😉
Waiting for her to make an unintentional double entendre can take time and be seemingly random, but if it does, it’s a golden opportunity to steer the conversation in a sexual direction—and make it look like she started it.
But hell, why wait? Your nut isn’t going to bust itself. Start running double entendres up your text pole and see if she salutes. Examples of what to text a girl first:
Ask about her favorite movie dialogue. Your response:
Tomorrow Never Dies. James Bond is in bed with a Danish girl and he’s interrupted by a phone call from Moneypenny. He explains he’s busy “brushing up on a little Danish.” She responds, “You were always a cunning linguist.”
Ask a light but challenging question and preface it with:
“I’ve got a hard one for you, Susan.”
Say something about the cold weather:
“Are you hungry? There’s nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this.
As you can see, you can go from perfectly innocent to perfectly blunt. It’s easy to do. Just look for an opening (see? A double entendre!) and go for it. Now, to be sure, you won’t need to use subtle word play all the time because a lot of girls are, ahem, sexually extroverted.
They’ll out-dirty talk you any day and send you tit pics before your drawers hit the floor. But you’re most likely not going to run into a lot of one-text-and-it’s-heels-to-Jesus girls. They’re going to need a little finessing to give up the goods.
Our readers enjoyed: How To Flirt with a Girl Through Text
But enough about texts with not-so-hidden meanings, let’s move on to pictures. How do you get her to send scandalous photos of herself? Allow me to introduce you to the concept of…
The Innocent Shirtless Pic.
It’s what you’re going to send her to activate the law of reciprocity. For some time now, social psychologists have noticed a phenomenon that follows closely upon the “golden rule” (do unto others as you would have them do unto you).
Basically, if you do something nice for me, the law of reciprocation states that I will feel obligated to do something equally nice for you (if only out of guilt). Even our language reflects the law—“I owe you one” or “much obliged.”
How does this relate to getting her to send naughty pictures? Well, if you send her some skin the law of reciprocation will motivate her to return the favor. If you’ve got a nice bod, use it. But don’t start off by sending her a shirtless pic out of the blue. Too obvious.
Tell her about your dog and send a shirtless picture of you playing fetch in the park. Assuming you’re not the one chasing the ball, she’ll make some kind of positive comment (unless you’re hairier than the dog).
Or let’s say you’re talking about traveling and you send her a pic of you on the beach. Or you’re talking about hobbies like hiking, and there’s a good shirtless one of you hiking a particular trail that the two of you are talking about. This lets you steer the conversation in that direction very easily. It’s just a harmless chat about your dog, or traveling, or hobbies right?
Just make sure the fact that you’re shirtless comes off as accidental. In other words, don’t send her half-naked pictures of you doing your taxes, or frying bacon, or making a presentation at work. From there it’s a simple, “Hey, you saw me shirtless; your turn. ;>)”
In the next post, we’ll wrap all this up into a package that you and your package can use. In the meantime, these are the biggest sexting fails of all time (if you do #10, these posts can’t save you).
If you missed the last post, read it here.