Getting a Second Date: Don’t Lose Your Texting Mind

Congratulations!  The date went well, the conversation was easy and you both know there’s a second date in the works.  First things first:

The all-important post-date text!  This is a crucial and necessary action after every date.  It’s easy to pull off well and just as easy to screw up, so let’s make sure you’re in the former group and not the latter.

Text Messages to Make Her Want You

Do not text her before you get back in your car.  Do not send approval-seeking texts like, “Did you have a good time?”  Do not ask her out again right away.  Doing any of these things is like putting up a billboard in front of her house that says, “I’m The Guy You’re Never Going To Get Rid Of!”  Here are some great examples of what not to do:

You: I think I’m in love.

You: You make me so happy!

You:  What do you want to name our first child?

These texts would make your chances for a second date fall faster than Marie Antoinette’s guillotine.  Keep the post-date text simple.  Send her a text the next day and either reference something that happened on the date or say something funny.  Try one of these cute messages for her. Let’s say the waiter was slow as molasses.

You:  I had a great time.  I feel sorry for anybody who has an accident and gets our waiter as the EMT.  They might as well call a priest for the last rites!


Alert! Have you read our guide? What To Text a Girl


You’ve had a shared experience that only you two took part in, and commenting on it helps create a unique bond. You could also bust on her about something that obviously didn’t happen, like:

“I saw you write something down for the waiter.  It better not have been my number!”

Just make sure to get in and get out.  Don’t feel the need to start a long text thread.  I mean, it’s fine if she does, but that shouldn’t be your goal.  You’ll come back for that in due time.

Let.  Things.  Breathe.  You should send a check-in text in two or three days but no more than that.  Again, you sense a theme?  You want to land in a solid space between desperate and dickish.

For the check-in, don’t ask about her week.  I know you actually do care about it, but it’s not a very interesting question on the list of things to ask a girl over text.

You: “How has your week been?”

See?  There’ s not much you can do with that.  In fact, all you’ll do is generate a programmed response like, “Good, how was yours?”  And there you go again, being so boring she’ll start naming her yawns after hurricanes.  Only go this route if you’re confident she’s into you as much as you are into her (because at that point, it doesn’t really matter what you text as long as you’re not being a jerk).

So what should you write in the check-in text?  Any texts to make her smile and take her mind off the daily grind.  Like…

“I renamed my iPhone “The Titanic” so when I plug it into iTunes it says, “Syncing The Titanic.”

If things went really well then up the romance quotient:

You:   Stop!

Likely Reply:   Stop what?

You:   Stop thinking about me. See, you’re doing it. . . right. . . now.

Improve her mood and you’ll improve your chances.  Remember, make her laugh and you’re halfway up her leg.  At that point, you can turn a check-in text into another date and then you’re off to the races.

In the next post, we’ll help you get a first date mulligan even if you completely screwed the pooch (figuratively, not literally. If that happened IRL, you’re on your own). In the meantime, get a woman’s perspective on it.

If you missed the last post, read it here.

By | 2017-01-28T12:11:05+00:00 April 3rd, 2017|Texting For Guys|0 Comments

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