Moving your texting relationship from Bing to BANG starts with knowing that there’s a mutual attraction. It could be, as in the last post, that you turned her ambivalence or hesitation around.
Or maybe you hit it off from the moment you met her at a party/coffeehouse/bar/social event. Maybe the conversation came easy, she laughed at your jokes and you got her number faster than a hungry woodpecker.
So what’s next? Raise your hand if you said, “Send her a picture of my junk.” Now slap yourself with that hand. It’s time to get to work! Your ultimate goal is a date or a hookup but that’s going to be hard to do without amplifying the sexual and romantic tension.
For the purposes of this post I’m going to assume that you want to actually go out with the girl you’re texting, not just do the No Pants Dance with her. So, let’s take a look at…
Texts To Make Her Smile
Women don’t hang out with guys that make them feel uncomfortable. PERIOD. It doesn’t matter that you hit it off great when you first met. If you go straight to sexting she’s going to think you’re a perv. Don’t make her think if she goes out with you, her face will end up on the back of a milk carton.
No comfort, no date. No date, no sex. So get her comfortable by being friendly and entertaining. Be clear that it is your job to be entertaining, not hers. Women want to be wooed. You are the pursuer, so act like it and take control of the thread.
We talked a lot about creating comfort in the last post. It basically involves you coming across as a decent, somewhat edgy guy with a good sense of humor. One of the fastest ways to make her comfortable (and feel smart) is to ask her advice– with a twist of funny.
I’m at the mall trying on different colognes. Here, sniff. Do you like the one on my right wrist or left?
OMG, my friend’s breath is so bad I’ve lost my short-term memory. Should I tell him?
Tailor your humor to her personality. Here’s one example of cute texts to send a girl who likes cutesie stuff:
“This cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat goofball cat busy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat!” Now read it without saying cat!
If she prefers her texts on the peppery side, try this:
Hello, you have reached — OH SHIT SHIT GODDAM FUCKING SHIT! — the Tourette Helpline.
The point is to create laughter to create comfort. Once you’ve exchanged a few texts and established that you are not Hannibal The Cannibal, it’s time to…
Sex Up The Comfort.
You didn’t get her number to find a fourth for Mahjongg, and she didn’t give it to you so that you could text her bad dialogue from a porn flick. Wait, there’s good dialogue in porn? Never mind.
My point, and I do have one, is that your texts should hint at sex without being overtly sexual.Your job is to make her feel hot without making her feel like a slut. Say she sends you a picture of herself from a night out with her friends, and she’s wearing a low-cut shirt. There are two ways you can handle that…
Good: “Wow. Amazing.”
Bad: “Nice tits!”
You can see the obvious distinction here (if not, please go back to page 1 and start over). First of all, you’re not saying she looks “pretty” or “beautiful.” You’re using words that can be used to describe sex without actually describing it.
Featured: Our Most Popular Article on Flirty Things to Text a Girl
Sexing up the comfort is more than staying out of the friend zone. It’s a deliberate attempt to let her know you’re romantically interested. Be clever. Wit will make her drop her guard and once that happens her panties can’t be far behind. The trick with flirty texts to send a girl is to hint at sexuality in clever ways. This text usually works wonders because it’s romantic and sexual all at the same time:
Oh, nothing. I just wanted you to feel my vibration.
You can also steer the conversation into a romantic context by being bold without crossing the line:
My friend wants to know if you think I’m hot.
Try to work in a romantic angle into a text thread if it’s appropriate. One particularly effective approach is to turn the tables on her and pretend she’s the one who has an insatiable appetite for your attention. Let’s say she talks about shopping in her text thread. You:
I would go shopping with you, but I don’t want you to be tempted to make out with me in the dressing room.
Here’s another example of best texts to send a girl, to flip the gender tables. Let’s say she says something about your clothes or fashion sense. Just pretend she’s trying to take your shirt off:
You:“Hey hey hey, slow down, missy! Your aggressive attempts to see me naked are offending my delicate sensibilities.”
You’re telling her to cool her jets, as if she’s the one just looking for sex. And who knows? She just might be. If she is, you’ll find out by her response to that text. If she’s not, you’ll have some playful banter to work with. By doing it this way you can heat up the convo without making you look like a certified, white utility van-driving, capital-P Pervert.
Here’s a particularly effective table-turning text that will make her laugh and keep the thread on the right romantic track:
You: (send a blank text)
Likely Reply: Why did you send me a blank text?
You: Babe, you don’t have to come up with excuses to talk to me.
You can also pick up the pace by complimenting her on the sly:
You: I think I should tell you what people are saying behind your back.
Likely reply: ???
You: “Nice butt!”
If you get positive responses, then you know you’re headed for a hangout or a hookup. One note of caution, though…
Go Easy On The Teasing.
Men may speak English but Teasing is our mother tongue. It’s what makes us funny and fun to be around but it also gets us in a lot of trouble, especially with women. And therein lies the challenge.
Women love men who can make them laugh but not the ones who make them feel bad. And our sense of humor is designed to make someone feel bad. So tread carefully with the teasing. It’s like Tabasco sauce—a little goes a long way.
In the next post, we’ll help you figure out when it’s time to stop texting and start talking. In the meantime, get ready to put your charming pants on with these tips.
If you missed the last post, read it here.