Getting Her Email May Not Sound Sexy, But Hear Us Out

how to get her numberIt’s a big deal for a woman to give her number out to somebody she doesn’t know well.  Women have legitimate safety concerns.

Believe me, early on you’re being evaluated under three categories:  Potential friend, Potential Lover, or Potential Restraining Order.

You can bypass the fear factor with a low-risk request:  Her email address.  In the world of Rock-Scissors-Women, email beats phone every time.

See, women have a lot of reasons for giving out their phone numbers.  Sometimes it’s just to get you off her back.  Some like the ego stroke of getting calls from lots of guys.   Can’t you just hear her turning to her friends while the phone rings off the hook–“Why are so many guys calling me!”

Of course, most of the time women are actually interested.  The problem is that unless she had strong interest she may be standoffish, uninterested and sometimes, downright rude on the phone.  There are a lot of reasons for this.

Depending on how much she drank and how many guys she met, she may not fully remember you.  Or sadly she may have recalled that you weren’t all that and a bag of chips.  Either way, you’re left with one dud of a phone call.

This doesn’t happen with email.  Not only is it easier to ask for, it exponentially increases the chance of a positive response.  Here’s why:

  • You’ll be less rattled with a first email than a first phone call.
  • Because you can think it through beforehand, you’re much likelier to write something fun, inventive and clever than you are to impulsively come up with something over the phone.
  • It’s easier for a woman to reply to an email than to respond to a phone call.

What if you call when she can’t answer?  A lot of women have a rule about not calling back (women like to be the chasee, not the chaser), or she may not be interested enough to dial your number.

Hitting the “reply” button on your browser doesn’t take much of an investment.  Emails are answered FAR more often than voicemail messages.

Email gives you a better chance at building attraction with a woman who’s ambivalent about you.

A woman who’s ambivalent about you or has a low level of interest is not going to return your call.  And if you do catch her on the line you’re going to feel that ambivalence and most likely feel doubly pressured to “perform.”  And you know what happens with performance anxiety.  Things tend to go south; not north.


Click here for a comprehensive look at Asking A Girl For Her Number


An email has a real chance of convincing an ambivalent woman that maybe she had you wrong and that she should a) give you her phone number,  b) answer it when you call or c) call you back when you leave a message.

Women are naturally attracted to men who take the time to write something funny or inventive.

The written word is far more romantic than the spoken word.

Giving out an email address is “low risk” because she can always choose not to answer it.

It’s easier to overcome the “stalker objection” with a request for an email address vs. asking a girl for her number.  Think about it.  When was the last time a woman got woken up by an obscene email in the middle of the night?

In the next post, we’ll give you the other piece of this puzzle: things you can actually say to get her email.  In the meantime, if talking to her, period, is freaking you out, check out some tips on how not to suck at it.

If you missed the last post, read it here.

By | 2017-02-02T15:45:03+00:00 February 16th, 2017|Dating Advice For Guys|0 Comments

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